Battle For Domination At The End Of The Earth

Have you ever had one of those discussions centering around a hypothetical fight that will likely never happen, and the result of which is dictated by an impossible number of variables? According to the I Tell You What Official Bureau of Statistics, Engineers spend at least 60% (margin of error 53%) of their time discussing hypotheticals, so this is right up our alley.

"Who would win in a fight, a crocodile or a polar bear"

"Who would win in a fight, Donkey Kong or King Kong"

"Who would win in a fight, Rosie O'Donnell or Aunt Jamima"

Of course, this is great fodder for discussion, because you can never settle the weapons, location, climate, etc... For instance, If the battle is in a jungle river, you might go with the croc, but the polar bear dominates once you leave the tropics.

To truncate an already long story, we (unnamed people at work who definitely were NOT neglecting important tasks and definitely do NOT include yours truly) set up a bracket, in the style of the NCAA basketball tourney, of 64 of the baddest contestants imaginable to settle the issue once and for all. Well, mostly the contestants are the baddest, but what was really important was the entertainment value and discussion associated with our selections. Votes were solicited, tallied, and contestants progressed to the next round or were bounced. This tourney was declared to be THE BATTLE FOR DOMINATION AT THE END OF THE EARTH. We broke the tournament into four groups:

Keith Richards v. Ozzie Osbourne; Mr. T v. T-Rex; Blade v. Buffy the Vampire Slayer; "Dirty" Harry Callahan v. Walker Texas Ranger; Bill Brasky v. King Leonidas; Boba Fett v. The Predator; Captain Kirk v. Captain Picard; Steven Hawking v. Bill Gates


Mike Tyson v. Mike Ditka; King Kong v. Donkey Kong; Jack Bauer v. Jason Bourne; Jackie Chan
v. John Wayne; Neo v. Yoda; Keyser Söze v. Scarface; Freddie Krueger v. Michael Myers; Larry King v. Bob Barker


Indiana Jones v. Lara Croft; Duffman v. The Marlboro Man; Barry Bonds v. The Incredible Hulk; Dick Cheney v. The Penguin; Drew Carey v. Howie Mandel; Peyton Manning v. Tom Brady; Jordan v. Bird; RoboCop v. The Terminator


Shaft v. John McClane; Maverick v. Ice Man; Old Godzilla v. New Godzilla; Captain Ahab v. Lieutenant Dan; Moby Dick v. Jaws; Mr. Miyagi v. Bruce Lee; Luke Skywalker v. Highlander;
Hank Hill v. Peter Griffin

Revelation of the Big Winner of the BDEE next post...