Just Say 'No'

I promise that my next few posts will have nothing to do with work. This one is only partially work-related.

I have long held the belief that if you are in a position of authority (or parity) with somebody who makes a request, your default answer should be "no". Why? Because it's easier in most cases to rescind a "no" later than to renege on a "yes". This is holding up fantastically well with my young daughter. Once the Y and E escape your mouth, the deal is sealed before you reach the S, and there is no going back. Did I say she could have juice, when mother only wanted her to have water? We're in for a fight if we try to change it. It has become evident that a toddler who feels they are being cheated out of something they have been promised, even if the promise was improper, is a force of nature. Tidal waves, tornados, even the elliptical motion of the moon would be easier to challenge than a young child that "knows" they are right. I explain this only to buttress my point.

My thinking on this has been challenged lately at work where we've asked the government to say "yes" to something when they were under no obligation to do so. When the "no" came back, was I entitled to be as upset as I was? I think so. As I said above, the default answer ought to be "no". However, when somebody presents a well thought-out argument supporting their request, it is incumbent upon the authority to do the right thing, not the easy thing. A well (or even poorly) trained monkey could stamp DISAPPROVED on anything put in front of them. Maybe the doing the right thing means asking a few questions back to get more information, or seeking those answers elsewhere before responding.

As I've thought through this, it has forced me to consider how God works in our own lives. We have unlimited wants for different stuff, much of which is really not good for us. Presumably we pray only for things we figure we need and are important. How many times is the answer "no"? Is this because God's default is "no"? He's not saying "no" because of a lack of information, or out of a power trip, so why, then? I can only conclude it's because he has a Will (sovereign desire, not short for William) and all the information he needs already (no need for him to seek answers) to know what is best for us. When we ask for that, it will come abundantly. I need to model my own responses in that fashion. I need to consider, first and foremost, the needs of the person asking, and whether the request is good for everybody involved. No consideration of pride or selfishness should drive the decision making. If I don't have all the information I need to make a wise decision, I need to get it myself or ask additional questions, not play the trained monkey with a DISAPPROVED stamp. This is especially true in my own family, where I've got some sweet ladies who rely on me for a great deal. My answers, if improperly given, can crush their spirits. If I try to answer like God would, I'll get a wise answer to my daughter the first time, no reneging.