Isaiah 30:14 - Whose collapse is like the smashing of a potter's jar, So ruthlessly shattered That a sherd will not be found among its pieces To take fire from a hearth Or to scoop water from a cistern."
As I promised last post, more free-falling bodies. The above biblical verse perfectly describes the long-overdue demise of our toilet (above), now replaced by a model that's much nicer and less worn. Anyway, I took it to the dump this weekend for disposal, and I was directed to an overlook where, I was giddy to see, I was actually expected to HEAVE this porcelain lump over the railing onto the concrete below. The fall was at least 20 feet. The sound of impact was like every dish or cup you've ever heard break happening all at once, and a satisfying instantaneous separation into hundreds of pieces, none of which could have been pieced back together. Much worse than Humpty Dumpty. The only thing that would have been better was if there were a window frame handy, that I might defenestrate the toilet.
Quick related story: The night my senior mechanical engineering design team turned in our project (meaning we were done with college for all purposes), I was chosen to hurl a ONE GALLON jug of mayonnaise out of an 11th story window from the building pictured below. The explosion and ensuing mayonnaise blast pattern was one of the few sights I've seen cooler than the toilet.
5 comments:
It's sad but so true.... throwing a toliet to it's demise, or any non living object is just... FUN! lol. (I'm remebering when our toilet met it's demise in the driveway. It wasn't a 20 ft launch, but it worked and it made us giddy.) lol.
simple things... simple things
For some reason, this brings to mind an experience from years ago. I was spending the night at a motel with some friends and one of us had a giant ziplock bag full of (regular) brownies. Having eaten all we cared for but still having an absurd amount leftover, we mushed them all together into an GIANT turd-shaped loaf and left it lurking in the toilet. I feel certain we put the fear of God into whoever discovered that scene the next day.
Exploding toilets though, that's good. Simple things!
I know the joys of seeing porcelain toilets shatter on pavement well. One of the popular rush events my fraternity did yearly was the "Roof Toss." Our house was 3 stories tall and had a walkout basement, making for a fall of approximately 40 feet.
Let me just say, the only thing cooler than tossing a toilet is tossing an old school box TV. THAT is a sight to see.
I find it amusing that the toilet meets its fate by having the tables turned-- taken to the dump after years of just the opposite.
"Defenestration"? Is that a Carly Simon song?
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