iNDIAn Summer

I recently had the rare opportunity of attending a major military-industrial-congressional complex conference. An ironic type would have noted the projector screen background with the header "STRENGTH THROUGH INDUSTRY AND TECHNOLOGY" looking like it was stamped into steel. It was quite a scene to take in, something straight out of Vonnegut (I'm thinking Player Piano) {as a further aside, can you believe that this particular Vonnegut society allowed engineers to be elevated to the uppermost levels of society? Herbert Hoover and Jimmy Carter showed how that little fantasy ends}). The hosting organization was the NDIA (get it? iNDIAn Summer!) which acts as sort of a lubricant between the military and its suppliers, the better for the wheels of the m-i-c complex to turn smoothly.
It was a fascinating experience. The people-watching opportunities were priceless. The admirals cut through the crowds in scythe-like fashion, polite but unconcerned and accustomed to deference. Captains swirled about the admirals like pilot fish or remoras. Industry executives flittered about, landing on whatever flower offered potential for self-endorsement or improved networking. The scientists lingered on the fringes, disheveled and confused by their inability to penetrate the culture of "normal people". The engineers paraded around in uncoordinated outfits and hammered, simply hammered the free food. There was a dinner the first night that featured so much meat that I think my kidneys and liver have accumulated protein crystals that they don't know how to dispose of. In order to NewEngland the bejesus out of the festivities, dinner was:

• clam chowder
• steamers (a small clam)
• shrimp
• 3/4 pound of spicy sausage
• 1 1/2 pound lobster

Seriously. I didn't even bother with dessert, and I only had 3 beers. That's right only 3 FREE beers. That, I think, conveys what happens when you feast on crustaceans until you hate yourself. Let's move on.

The first day was all a "plenary" session, which is Latin for "let everybody sit in one lecture hall so that we all feel important in the presence of greatness". It was basically a round robin of peacocks for the powers that be. We met at a local hotel to ride onto the Navy base, and I discovered, to my chagrin, that my khakis and tie were trumped by the full business suit of EVERYBODY ELSE ON THE BUS. The situation once we arrived was a little more business casual (just like we were told it was supposed to be), but you get the idea. Anyway, after that first day and the following dinner, the admirals and executives found more important places to be, and the geeks got down to business. The highlights:

• This country has many very stupid people, but some of the presentations I saw convinced me that the extremely smart people just maybe balance out the many dumb ones. "Wicket smat", in the local vernacular. I was really humbled.
• My approach of not being overly focused on career advancement and being oblivious to other people's feelings leaves me the perfect person for networking at these affairs. I don't think most of the people I met with really cared about me, but they will definitely remember me, because I always speak with nothing to lose.
• The Chinese are evil. Well, except for Jackie Chan, I Tell You What
• Newport News Shipbuilding is evil. No exceptions.
• Ever read The Hunt For Red October or Red Storm Rising? Our Navy is way, way, way past the technology you read about in those books. The funny part, from my perspective, is that all the new technology is being added to platforms (the boats themselves) that are little changed from 40 years ago.
• The best presentation by far was an innovative use of the trash disposal unit. Existing hardware packaged to gain additional capability at very low cost. Bravo.
• I love presentations on war gaming. I would really like to challenge some of the Navy guys, just to see how I'd do
• Who new weather and current simulation were so important?
• If somebody with a 30 minute presentation on computer networks can't make it, and you are selected to do the presentation in their stead, do us all a favor and be either very entertaining/charismatic or a fast reader
• The enlisted personnel I encountered on the Navy base were an absolute pleasure to deal with. Very encouraging to see that our society can still produce 20 year-old men and women with dignity.