Technical Difficulties

Bulletin:
Technical difficulties with the computer and 50 hour work weeks (let's just be glad those guys weren't using real ordnance) have interfered with my posts of late. I shall return...

The Future's So Bright...

How do you maintain a cool image when you are bald, dress primarily in overalls and singlets, are robustly chubby, and don't even have a smooth manner of speaking? Accessorize:
It doesn't hurt to hang out with a posse that knows how to party

If ZZ Top saw this abuse of cheap sunglasses, they'd be suing for royalties.

And She Only Turned 3 Years Old Today

Wifey: How many arms does an octopus have?

Sweetness: How many?

Wifey: Eight.

Sweetness: Oh, like an octagon.

She may cursed with The Knack, doomed to be an engineer

Rising Tide of Waste

This is a picture of a laundry pen manufactured by Tide. I'm sure it's very handy to be able to spot treat stains on clothing. And that's really what capitalism is about, right? Finding a consumer need, real or perceived, and filling that need in a fashion that makes profits. This is a little appalling, though. The laundry pen contained just over 1/10 of an ounce of detergent. The pen itself probably weighed an ounce or two. Then, there is the packaging. Lots of paper, lots of ink, and an amount of plastic that exceeds the pen and detergent combined. These pens could be on shelves in a small, plain cardboard box of 100, with a little sign on the front of the box that looks like what we see in the picture above. It would save an enormous amount of wasted resources in terms of manufacture, shipping, and landfill material. Alas, the individual pens would be easy to shoplift, and a simple box just doesn't draw the attention like individually packaged products dangling from a hangar. Is it any wonder Americans disgust some people?

Dorque Multiplier

Recently, Sweetness demolished me in three consecutive games of Hi Ho Cherry-O. It's a very simple board game, but I never even sniffed victory. To help myself feel a little smarter, Sweets and I took apart the decade old and no longer needed can opener. I got to show her a gear train. Here's a snippet of video where she shows me how it works:

As you can see, we have a perfectly good (if slightly noisy due to wear) electric motor, and a torque multiplier to step down the speed and give some useful umph at the output end. Since we have a newer model, the question now is: what do we use this fantastic device for? If anybody actually reads this blog, I WANT YOUR IDEAS. It could drive rigged to do almost anything: drive a clothesline, open/shut the kitchen garbage can, operate the drain plug on the sink... basically anything within the horsepower/work limits of the existing motor and gear train.

The frustrating thing for me is that this technology has been around since about the 1830's, it's still very difficult to implement them into military designs at work. While my expertise on the sparky end of things is limited, I am growing convinced that the problems lie in developing the controller, which means dumb "push the button and go" mechanisms are the way to go, even if they draw high current. It's cheaper in the long run. I'll have to see if we can tear apart any other fascinating obsolescent devices around the house.

Best Euphemism I've Heard Lately

Two words: Burp Cloth.
We all burp, but when I down a Coke Zero or Miller High Life, I have no need to reach for a napkin. Let's be honest, the burp cloth really has nothing to do with burping. Let's try to come up with a more honest but not disgusting name for this truly useful piece of fabric.
Thank you for your time.

It's Obvious, Really

Recently overheard at our house:

Sweetness (coming upon her father, ITYW, lifting weights to capitalize on Old Man Strength): "Daddy, are those weights heavy?"

ITYW: "They're a little heavy."

Sweetness: "You should use smaller ones"

They Don't Make'em Like They Used To, eh?

I don't mind paying almost $30 for a 2 piece bathtub diverter valve assembly. Really, I don't. I know it's just some plastic and rubber, but the dimensions have to be reasonably precise, so I'll give the manufacturer the benefit of the doubt. I do very much mind pulling one out less than 3 years after initial installation and finding what you see in the pictures below.
Here, the stem had failed (the pointy part on the tip is supposed to be a flat), preventing rotation of the valve using the knob. That means it was very tough to switch the water from the spigot to the shower:
But over a year ago, water began to leak between the spigot and the shower head. I wonder why could that be? This picture tells the tale:

Notice the two holes on the rubber gasket on the bottom. Thirty dollars really ought to buy some pretty high quality rubber and plastic.

Struggling Big 3

Wifey and I recently decided that the windshield wipers on our Ford Freestyle, which we are quite fond of, were due for replacement. Wal-Mart did not carry blades that would fit, the brackets on the Freeztyle's wiper arms are not a standard size. So, off goes I Tell You What to Autozone, only to discover that these wiper blades are only carried by the car dealers. This is beyond retarded. I have now wasted two stops and will apparently have to get to the dealer when THEY are open to pick up these simple items.
Being from Michigan, I am loyal to American auto manufacturers. But by selecting proprietary windshield wiper blades in a car design, it is clear how out of touch the Big 3 is with the American consumer. After all, one of the biggest arguments against foreign cars when I was young was how hard or expensive it could be to obtain replacement parts. Here I am, as an adult, jumping through hoops to get Ford proprietary windshield wiper blades. No wonder foreign auto manufacturers are doing so well. Wifey's Nissan Sentra was compatible with the El Cheapo brand blades one can buy at Wal-Mart.
Henry Ford, Mr. Interchangeable Parts himself, must be rolling in his grave.