Can't Touch This

I recently broke my little baby 3 lb. sledgehammer while splitting wood. This was unfortunate, but the hammer was over 6 years old, so not entirely unexpected. I did a little shopping, and look... at what... I... found:

When you've got something as awesome as a mid-size, fiberglass handle sledge, you've got to name it something awesome...

...by combining two of the greatest words in the english language into what is now the greatest single phrase in the english language.

That's right, there is an "official" Engineer Hammer. I love this thing. This is just another reason that engineering is awesome. There are no banker hammers or teacher hammers or or landscaper hammers. While we're at it, let's be honest that things like farmer's tan, baker's dozen, or tennis elbow are nothing to get excited about. As far as I can tell, the only thing that comes even close is a fireman's axe.

Any other specific tools or other implements named after occupations?

Lumberjack of All Trades

Part of clearing the new I Tell You What estate has involved two projects that I highly recommend to any red-blooded 'merican male. We are talking serious exercise of dominion. One is to cut down a mighty tree, definitely big enough to wreak havoc (see below). The other is to harken back to days of wooden axe handles and iron... axe heads, I guess. Yes, chopping down somewhat smaller trees with axes. It is a good kind of feeling to hack away at the base until you know one final swing is about to fell the tree. I have stolen a sports phrase to describe this: the walk-off swing. Just like a baseball player knows when his swing has driven in the winning run late in a game, you know that one more swing of the axe will topple the tree, bringing a satisfying groan as the tree leans, then a thump as it lands on the ground. Great times, and my hands are getting to where they've stopped complaining about blisters and just deal with it. Of course, even on axe days I am using a chainsaw for clean-up because, well, I do have other things to do and I AM a big fan of 2-cycle mo-chines.

The first tree we dropped was really just a warm-up, nothing nearby to damage

And there she goes

And now for the more precarious poplar; note the nearby garden fence

Yours truly sawing away; note the lean as things get exciting

The apple tree calls for a fair catch, but is going to take a hit either way

So... if neither end of the tree is on the ground, have we truly cut it down? Note the steep angle on the back-cut. My bad.

The intrepid crew of engineering lumberjacks who risked life & limb to help out, I Tell You What. The orange hardhat (yup, from Home Depot) is just an example of how dorks have fun. Hard workers with solid backs and shoulders all.

Lessons learned: keep your axe and chainsaw sharp, Sharp, SHARP. Keep your backcuts with the chainsaw flat, even if your experienced friends advise otherwise. Keep family members clear of the area (let's just say the apple tree was not our target)

Shady 3/2 Acres

It was a nice day to read books in the shade.

Packaged By Quantity, Not Volume

Last summer we moved into our new house. The first project I took on was cleaning and sealing the deck on the east side of the house. For that work I needed (not needed, strictly speaking, but found useful) a power washer. It's a pretty low pressure, cheaply made electric unit, which meets my needs. Until, that is, this Spring, when I pulled the trigger halfway through cleaning windows and the outlet hose blew clean off the front of the washer. The outlet T fitting, looking like it was made of cast iron, had blown completely in two pieces right across one of the threaded sections. A quick call to the Lowe's Task Force power washer hotline arranged for a replacement part to be shipped to me (being within the warranty period) free of charge. Excellent. Six weeks later, a second phone call to follow up and ask why I had not received the part resulted in the realization on the vendor's part that the replacement fitting had never been shipped. Four days after that...

...the box in the picture above had arrived. That box contained a replacement fitting, shown at the top of the box, and a bunch of crumpled brown paper. The picture also includes a can of Campbell's soup, which I included to provide scale. That's right, the vendor shipped the part in a box that could have held several hundred of those fittings. What could they possibly have been thinking at whatever warehouse they shipped that thing from? Consumer Reports often publishes pictures of gross waste in packaging, maybe I'll send this one in as a candidate.