Saturday, January 31, 2009

The Menace Within

What would you think if I described a military with these stats:
  • 2.3 million members (less than 1/2 of them auxiliary)
  • 8,300 bases
  • At least 8,300 pieces heavy firepower

I'm guessing you'd say "Because I, too, am a dork of history and warfare, I recognize that is approximately the manpower and artillery strength of the Indian Army." To that I would reply "bravo", because that is truth, yet that is not the organization I described. This army exists within the borders of the United States, yet falls outside the control of any U.S. military command, and has infiltrated "posts" into nearly every community in this country. That's right, the VFW. Think about it. They have some sort of combat implement (helicopter, tank, artillery)at every building! They have built up a corps of experienced soldiers from conflicts over the last 60 years, and concentrated the lethal cocktail of manpower, practical combat knowledge, and alcohol serving permits as they marshal their forces for what can be their only purpose: an all out assault on our great nation. Not even the defunct battle tanks sitting outside of National Guard Armories can stop this War Machine once its engine of destruction starts turning over. Yes, these veterans are your neighbors. Yes, they have served with honor. Yes, the can potluck like no others. But do not dare turn your back on them. You have been warned.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Beg Your Paron, But...

It is a double-edged sword telling your boss "I have been too busy to draft a paper explaining everything I have worked on this year for my annual performance review. When I finish the 3 urgent things I am working on, I will be happy to oblige." Honesty is the best policy, eh?

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Michimmigration

Last Monday another engineer joined our group at work. He is a native of Kalamazoo, MI, and attended the University of Michigan. The flight of college graduates from that state is startling. Of my closest friends at Michigan Tech (the engineering school in the state), not one remained in Michigan after graduation. Vermont, D.C., Massachusetts, Illinois, Texas, and other places all offered better employment opportunities than our home state. I can understand that Michigan, with the industrial and educational infrastructure to historically need and produce engineers, would be creating a glut of technical types who don't find the job they're prepared for near home.

Unfortunately, it goes beyond that. Even some of the education majors that I knew who attended other colleges had to join the exodus. One of my cousins just headed to Indiana to work as a technician at a hospital. Set aside the dorks, if you are no longer hiring teachers and medical types your society is hurting. Michigan is now manning the caboose of the nation's economy.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Free Association Friday (Saturday Edition)

  • Forgot to mention that on the drive back from Michigan, having seen far more wildlife than you ever find on the East Coast, we encountered, just a few miles from home, a coyote calmly sitting right in the middle of the road. Had I not come to a complete stop, our car would have plowed right into it.
  • I Tell You What's sister has lost 65 pounds recently. Wow!
  • The proliferation of Obama bumper stickers prompted Wifey to come up with a new classification for annoyingly plodding drivers: Slobama.
  • Speaking of that, can we end the hagiography (word of the day) of our new president? Fortunately, the national news media is now realizing that if it doesn't get out of bed with the Democrats, there will be nothing to report on, especially with things going much better in Iraq.
  • I knew it, I knew it, I knew it was going to be trouble checking those installation torques on something that's never broken but, you know, what if...? That just landed me a 60 hour week.
  • A recent conversation (witnessed by Wifey):

Engineer 1: Look at those swans in the ocean. They're probably corroding!

Engineer 2: No, they're fine. They have a higher nickel content than fresh water swans.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Michigan, Again

We headed across the upper reaches of the U.S. again this year to visit my family for Christmas. We made the veteran parenting move of taking Sarah Joy to the doctor the day before to ensure antibiotics were available to combat her persitent head cold. The I Tell You What family does not advocate antibiotics to counter mild and transient illnesses, but you DO NOT want that spreading into a major respiratory thing as you drive cross country and sleep in unfamiliar surroundings. Just trust me. We were very fortunate on the trip to my grandmother's house, the worst weather we encountered was rain until about 50 miles from her home. Then it was the usual Michigan grind of ridiculously heavy snow.

It's remarkable to span so much distance in a single drive. The beginning is from coastal Connecticut through hilly Massachusetts and eastern New York. The hills fade to pancake-flat western New York and southern Ontario, with raptors (this kind, not this kind) acting as sentinels every mile or two in the treetops. Then it's into the woodlands of Michigan once you exit the Thumb area. There it's forests, forests, and forests. The snow was deep, and the dark nights there mock your car's puny headlights. As we approached our destination we saw deer (naturally), turkeys (a foot from the windshield!), an elk herd (only me, everyone else was napping), a bald eagle, and, once we reached my mother's house, a pileated woodpecker big enough to fly off with one of the children.
The time with family was fantastic. Being in a rural area truly does slow things down. You can wait an entire day for something to happen, and it doesn't feel like you're missing anything else important. It was also an opportunity for Sweetness and Sarah Joy to enjoy some things we don't get much of on the coast.

1. Chickens- My mother has a bootleg-egg production up & running. It's great for the girls (Sweetness, here) to get a look at a small farm. Not many people really get an intimate look at where any sort of food comes from these days. I can't wait to see what else is in store for Grandma T's 20 acres of paradise.

2. Sledding- When snow is abundant, there is one thing that is easy to arrange. This is one of the downhill runs where Sarah did not take out her Grandpa at the knees.

3. Snow machines- My cousin rode her (that's right, her, and she could beat you in a race, I'd wager) snowmobile over to our grandmother's house on Christmas day to join the family celebration. All the great grandchildren were offered rides. Here is Sweetness taking advantage of the offer. This is how we celebrate the birth of Sweet Baby Jesus in the Winter Wonderland.

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Drive On

1 Family
5 States/Provinces
890 Miles
17 Hours

What a drive home from Michigan. We were able to enjoy safety and good roads after the first 60 miles, so we have definitely been blessed. I'll start posting again soon.