Mess With The Bull...

I am a huge fan of horns. Not all of them. Saxophones, for instance, are the coolest thing going, especially when coupled with a sharp suit jacket and sunglasses at night, but I'm not much for most brass or woodwinds. I refer primarily to signal horns of days gone by. Most of them I imagine to look something like this:

This whole fascination was kicked off in my work cubicle about 2 years ago when this commercial for Snickers came out. Pure genius. Of course, every time somebody sat down to eat lunch or drink a caffeinated beverage, and imaginary feast horn was sounded. We actually got pretty good at imitating it. Well, turnover at work being what it is (or was, I should say, since attrition has dropped virtually to zero in the current economy), I found myself surrounded at work by new guys who didn't have the proper knowledge or respect for the significance of the horn's call. That's where the brilliance of the Internet ("now on computers!") came in. Check this out (sorry, you have to cut & past into your browser, no linking):

http://www.audiblebeauty.net/do-not-link/king/hardhrim_horn.wav
http://www.audiblebeauty.net/do-not-link/fellowship/horngondor.wav
http://www.audiblebeauty.net/do-not-link/king/rohan_horn.wav
http://www.audiblebeauty.net/do-not-link/towers/eldarhorn.wav

All the guys I sit with are now on board, now that I have these files to play at-will while working, and often when somebody enters or exits our cubicle an appropriate horn is sounded.

Oh, and did I mention that Warhammer: Dark Omen has a horn as a butt-kicking item for your armies to use? I still have to write about that game. One day soon...

The Lesson, As Always...

• Lifting weights is good. The zoo is good. But combining the two by carrying 70 lbs of kids at the giraffe exhibit is exhausting.
• Committing yourself to work through diligence, education, and humility brings crushing workloads and frustration.
• Committing yourself to work through diligence, education, and humility brings recognition and personal satisfaction.
• Reconciling the previous two points is a daunting endeavor, to say the least.
• Selling your house is much easier when you pick a realtor who is familiar with your segment of the market, you have put some effort into the house, and your Wifey is able to commit copious amounts of time making it sparkle for showing it to prospective buyers.
• Through either age, lack of other talent, or some other sort of doom, it's inevitable that I will be a softball pitcher (slow-pitch).
• The Office is still just about the best thing going on television.
• When holding hostages, the Naval warship is not really offering to throw you a line to help you weather high seas.
• And the flashes in the sunlight are not from men holding binoculars, but rifle scopes.
• Our latest word of the day at work: chicanery
• Just because: Turtle Man. I heart the Rebel Yell. Closing word to the wise: don't choose ponds on farms to hunt snappers, you don't want to know what rinses into them.
  

Not Even Disappointed

At least the MSU Spartan b-ball team were gracious hosts, allowing the UNC Tar Heels to put up 55 points in the first half. After about 10 minutes, the Spartan players looked like extras from the Omaha Beach scene of Saving Private Ryan. UNC deserved it, what a juggernaut!

Now it's time to contemplate the overrated, overhyped, yet still intriguing NFL draft and the beginning of the church softball season.

Men Of Sparta!

I live in UConn Huskie turf, no doubt about it. But tonight, compliments of the Michigan State Spartans basketball team, there is no doubt who is top dog. No, I did not attend MSU, and I do not regret that decision. But I did get accepted there during high school to study chemical engineering, and I watched many Spartan games as a child to cheer them on, so I can claim a connection. Bravo, Spartans, bravo.

Things That Make You Go Boom

If you like things that are awesome, click here. Right this moment. I'll tell you why things like this happen. Sometimes mankind emerges from the dark forest of daily life, to emerge upon a rolling plain of grass and clover, with the sun shining and a light breeze blowing. At that moment mankind realizes "hey, the company executives are on vacation for a month, and we have two train engines that are scheduled to be cut up for scrap, let's be awesome!".

I don't know, maybe that kind of epic dudeness only happens in Texas. Or does it...

Overhaul Complete

My apologies for stepping away yet again. More technical issues, this time on our computer's end. Some of the files in our operating system were corrupt, so I enlisted some help in repairing it. NOW I understand why my college buddies who were into electrical engineering used LINUX. Our biggest highlight during the long moment of silence: we sold our house again, this time for more money than the first. Sadly, we again unsold our house within a week. Yet again, the buyer was financing 100% of the purchase and, despite being pre-approved, was denied at the final loan application. At least we found out when we did, since Wifey and I were going to put a bid on a sweet little property that very evening.

Good To Be Back

Sorry about the absence. A combination of technical difficulties and rough schedule have conspired to keep me away for some time. An update of what's been going on:

• Our house sold, then, due to the buyer's credit record, unsold. A word to the wise: If you're financing 100% of the purchase of a home (haven't we learned that's not so wise?), make sure to keep up your student loan payments.
• Sarah Joy has begun using words. This is a serious upgrade from grunting and screaming.
• Sweetness turns 4 years old Sunday. We took her to the doctor to get a vaccination, she stared at the needle the whole time it was in her arm, and she didn't even whimper. Impressive. I have lately found myself doing foolish things and internally saying "my 4 year old daughter is better than that. This provides some parenting insight: we are more intelligent, faster, stronger, more mature, and more experienced than our children. We are not better, and to think otherwise is to become a stumbling block to raising our children into upstanding adults.
• We discovered that the baby Wifey is carrying, due mid-July, is a boy. Could not be more excited, so to explain any more would just fail to convey.
• My job has shifted, for the moment, from checking calculations and putting out fires to acting as a sort of iron-mongering interior decorator for submarines. Want a giant hatch? Need some motion synthesis for a linkage? Will that be a power screw or a hydraulic cylinder? For a dork, this is a breath of fresh air after rooting out old mistakes on drawings and new mistakes on 400 page calculations for over a year. One thousand, one hundred, fifty pages and counting in the past 9 months.
• I was just patting myself on the back for pioneering the use of "monger" as a verb. Alas, a quick self-check of Merriam-Webster (who needs editors if you proof read?) showed that I am no pioneer, after all. Ergo, mongering is the word of the day.
• Started playing Warhammer: Dark Omen for original PlayStation on my PS2. Awesome game, makes me want to bring back words like "stoked". I'm sure I'll follow up with an entry on this gem.
• Wifey and I watched Stranger Than Fiction a few weeks ago. Strange, but very sweet movie. It really drew me in, and I loved it.

That's enough for now. More to follow, hopefully soon.